There is no question that obesity affects all aspects of our lives, including our sexuality. A Duke University study concluded that 65 percent of obese people seeking treatment reported an impaired sex life. Physical causes exist that impair sexual function in the overweight. Obesity can alter testosterone levels in men and increase their risk of impotence. Morbid obesity can result in back pain and depression - both of which reduce sex drive. And the obvious, obese men and women can have difficulty positioning for sexual intercourse.

In addition to physical impairments we have social and emotional impairments. Sexy is seldom depicted as obese and never as morbidly obese. Because we compare ourselves with the social ideal of sexy we feel body conscious, self-loathing and undesirable. One community member, Jan*, said, "Most of us have been obese all our lives and never experienced the normal teenage years of sexual tension. We were often never asked out on dates, never flirted with or only offered sex by people who did not love us, but we misunderstood their intentions due to our insecurities."

Weight Loss Improves Sex Lives for Many

Recent studies indicate that even modest weight loss may improve the sex lives of many obese people. Participants in a study conducted by the Obesity Society in Vancouver, Canada reported that participants who lost on average 17.5 percent of their body weight reported improved sex lives.

Mike*, one of our LivingAfterWLS community members, said he enjoyed a loving and devoted relationship with his wife of 26 years, but they did not have a sexually intimate relationship. "The reason was clear," he said, "I had ballooned to 368 pounds and was embarrassed to even attempt to be intimate with my 5'3" 109 pound wife. I was sure she had no interest in having sex with a fatty' like me. My self-esteem was shot. I lost all confidence in myself. Needless to say, our sex life was zero."

In February Mike underwent WLS to improve his health and lost 110 pounds in seven months. He said, "I decided to make the plunge and indicate to my wife my 'intentions'. It was a bit awkward at first but then WOW! We had the best sex we have ever had in our marriage. It's been amazing." He says their relationship changed over night and they are making up for lost time. "I feel so guilty now that my wife stayed with me all this time, not being able to enjoy a good sex life. Besides the obvious benefits of health improvement I have more incentive to continue on my new lifestyle. And believe me, it's worth it!"

Mike's weight loss and improved sex drive resulted in a favorable change to his marriage. But that isn't always the case after weight loss. Maryann is married to a man with a heart condition that is treated with medications that cause sexually dysfunction. She said, "As I lost weight my sex drive went to overdrive. He couldn't perform. At the same time I was receiving more and more attention from men. It led to an affair." Maryann recently ended the affair and said, "I love my husband very much and cannot believe I allowed myself to stray. I found out the grass is not greener on the other side."

*Name changed per request of the subject.

Kaye Bailey

An award winning journalist and former newspaper editor Kaye Bailey brings expertise in writing and personal experience with gastric bypass surgery to EzineArticles.com. Ms. Bailey developed a passion for writing at an early age. As a teenager she found writing her feelings about obesity helped her cope in a world that is often cruel to overweight children and adults alike.

Ms. Bailey says she found out she was fat in kindergarten when another child told her she was fat. ?I didn?t even know what fat was but I could tell it was bad and I didn?t want to be fat. Until that day I had been unaware I was different. But there I was, a five-year-old girl sitting cross-legged on the floor learning a new word that would define me.?

At age 33 she underwent laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery. For the first time in her life after multiple failed diet attempts she lost weight. She said the decision to have surgery took courage, nerve, and a little bit of plain old faith. But she learned surgery was the easy part. Dealing with newfound emotions, struggling with food choices and fighting to keep from regaining weight were unexpected bumps in the road following massive weight loss with surgery.

Having spent most of her life overweight Ms. Bailey is strongly empathetic toward the obese, particularly overweight children. This compassion compelled her to found the website LivingAfterWLS.com, a fast-growing resource of information, understanding and support for the weight loss surgery community. While weight loss surgery is publicly perceived as an easy fix to obesity Ms. Bailey maintains the struggles after surgery challenge the vigor of even the most dedicated individual. As WLS becomes more readily available patients are finding there is a lack of long-term aftercare and support from bariatric centers.

The LivingAfterWLS.com site is complimented with daily blog. The blog, livingafterwls.blogspot.com offers readers the chance to comment or leave feedback about fresh content added daily. This site contains success stories and recipes as well as general information and WLS inspired topics. Complementing the site is a monthly newsletter titled ?You Have Arrived? available exclusively to people who subscribe through the website or the blog. The path forward includes community forums, nutrition and fitness tracking tools.

Ms. Bailey makes her home on a ranch in the Rocky Mountains with her husband of eight years who has been her consort in life after WLS.